I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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