Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
