I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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