i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
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