i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
