the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Randomize
