I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
