There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
