That's when you crack a 10am beer
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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