were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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