Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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