I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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