Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
