who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
