You're so nebulous sometimes
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
