Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
