the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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