i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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