wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
