i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i've created a new STD.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
