You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
