tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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