I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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