I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
