I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
