It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
