All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
