Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
