I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He passed out mid-signature
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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