So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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