So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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