garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
