Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize