Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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