Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
