this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
