My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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