College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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