i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
