Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
