D3 body, D1 cock
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
