it's not cheating when I paid for it
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
