I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
