Can Purell be used as lube?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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