Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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