My pussy is not your playground.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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