i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
