halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
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