Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
