I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
