Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
