am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Pooping to opera.
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