Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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