can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
