I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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