I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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