actually, I'm a sock model
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
My feet surprised me
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